Yeah I thought that would get your attention – I should change it to “Mom Crush Monday” someone has been weighing heavy on my heart and mind the past day but that is neither here nor there, if you are reading this you know who you are and I’ve already shared my thoughts and words of wisdom with you! “It’s always darkest before the dawn” –

Feeling a little sluggish and tired after the long short weekend in Palm Springs. But alas here we are……

Friday Night I got to Alliance and when I locked eyes with George he said “come with me, lets talk”. We sat down in the office and he asked how I was doing, so I told him. I told him I was really frustrated with by body and that for the 1st time ever my heart and mind are in the right place but my body isn’t and I was disappointed, not in the progress I was making, just that it was hindering me and my capabilities. Sucks to admit that I’ve neglected myself for so long that this is the result of that and it will take time. He assured me that this was totally normal, I went from 0-100 in a matter of days and I need to give myself time to get totally acclimated and accustomed to this.

For now, no more treadmill, only BIKE or Elliptical to ease up on my knee and foot pain. I explained I was still struggling with my meals and that I need to talk to David again, maybe I can skip the post-workout protein shake to have my meal instead. I will touch base with David today. George also acknowledged my need for a goal and he had looked at the Muderealla event details I sent him, as I had expected, he thought it may be just a bit too much but we should look for something else in the meantime and set that goal for a little later, so I will do that.

My workout with George was incredible. He incorporated some new drills for me, I was actually running….wow…haven’t done that in YEARS. I think Friday was the toughest one yet but I still made it. The last few rope drills and weight drills and squats were brutal and I could feel myself getting weak in the knee’s and arms, but I did it…and I can’t wait for Tuesday to see him again!

I got home Friday night and B and I ran a few errands to get ready for the weekend, I wanted a smaller bottle for my protein shakes that would be easier to tote around all weekend. We stopped and got B McD’s for dinner, I didn’t even steal one French Fry! While she ate I prepped all my food for the weekend. As gracious as Leasha was to offer my the use of her motorhome I was very hesitant to rely on being able to track her down at the right times and didn’t want to be stuck. I knew the hotel would have a fridge & microwave too so I tweaked my lunch slightly, I made Turkey Roll-Up’s on Whole Wheat Tortillas. I got some good quality low sodium organic turkey for the weekend.

I pre-made my breakfast burrito’s for both days and packed up my 2 Dinners. I had plenty of apples, string cheese, almonds, Rice Cakes w/PB Packets, Oatmeal Bars and found some Oatmeal/Quinoa Granola too and Carrots. I packed up lots of small snack bags with appropriate servings of little snacks so that as the day went on if I was tempted or needed a little something I have plenty of good choices with me as to not have to go to the food court that was packed full of hot dogs candy cinnamon rolls popcorn and soda.

We left at 8am Saturday so I had my protein shake, apple and breakfast ready for the road! We arrived in Palm Springs around 10:30, just in time to see CHAOS! There is so much down time at these events so I grabbed Axel and we went to sit outside, let him run around and I could eat my lunch. He is always telling me how big my butt it, maybe someday he will tell me it’s smaller! LOL! I let Axel play on the inflatables for a while, give Christy a little break and she was helping B get ready. More hours go by of sitting on your butt and it’s tough walking past smelling all the Churro’s and seeing everyone with their Cokes and Nacho’s but it is what it is. I enjoyed chatting with my Bestie and watching teams and the time just passed. I just need to learn that just because you may be bored that doesn’t mean you are hungry. I was really letting my body tell me when it needed something and when it did I gave it what it needed.

It’s been a weird season for B, as she was injured on October, had surgery, and was cleared to tumble on 1/6 – In the meantime her team (Wrath) had to move on without her, and although she was 100% committed to them, not missing any practices (except the day of her surgery) or competitions as she watched from the sidelines, they just didn’t need her. In all fairness, she is still working on getting 1 required skill back for that team anyway, so as much as she wanted to keep working and get that one skill back and wait for them to need her, it just was looking less and less like they would and she would be on the sidelines all season. It was killing her watching them, as she was in tears as they would perform, she wanted to be on that stage with the team she has been invested in for 8 months, she wants to be a part of their success and a part of the team.

It just wasn’t in the cards this season. So she was approached to be on FRENZY again this season, they needed her and she has all the skills required for this team. This is the team she was on last season and they were INCREDIBLE! She knew this was the right thing to do, and she wanted to support her gym and her friends on Frenzy, but she was having a real hard time letting go of Wrath, and she still is. And so am I. We have both been invested in Wrath, we know the kids, the parents, the routine and the music. But as I told B, it’s time to say GoodBye and accept her place on Frenzy with grace and be a workhorse for them. They are a great team, who going in to this weekend was Un-Defeated and 3 Time Grand Champs, this team is not messing around! Friday night she was excited for the weekend, new Nfinity’s, her headband bow and knowing she has a home now and a place on a team. I think she found some comfort in that. Well Saturday wasn’t Frenzy’s best day on the floor, but B did a great job and all of her required skills and stunts looked great. I was very proud that she again learned a place in this routine in 2 practices and she nailed it. We would have to wait and see what Day 2 would bring for this team. Wrath on the other, continued their hot streak and had an incredible performance!

Jamie still isn’t 100% but she was there this weekend, I caught up with her for a minute Saturday night and met her Mom who also took a journey similar to mine. She shared some encouraging words and shared some of her own stories and struggles. It’s amazing how much you can connect with someone once people start getting honest about what’s really going on. I was hesitant to share all this. I was hesitant to post my weight and post pics. I hardly ever post pics of myself, as I don’t want people from HS or whatever saying “My god, have you seen Laurel?” – Whatever – I am owning this, yes, I got fat – whatever – Yes it sucks and Yes I am ashamed and embarrassed but I am not hiding anymore – be a part of my journey and love and support me now for who I am and what I want to accomplish or (as Axel would say) “I got 2 words for ya’ SUCK IT!” I don’t need you!

We got to the (I use this word loosely) Hotel about 830pm Saturday Night – WHOA – Ummmm I’ve stayed in some seedy places before but this took the cake for sure! After we got over the shock we went out to get B & Christina some dinner, they ended up with Mexican Food. Got back to the room and I went to have my dinner only to find the freakin’ microwave didn’t work. So I compromised and had a protein shake, apple and string cheese. Just sucked, as I knew I wouldn’t be able to warm-up my Breakfast the next morning.

Sunday I had protein shake, apple and oatmeal but I was not about to eat a cold egg burrito so that got skipped, but I had my lunch and plenty of snacks to get me through. Sunday was CHEAT DAY!!! YAY – I was totally going to have a hot dog or a few drinks or something, as I was not going to skip my CHEAT ANYMORE! After CHAOS’ awards Christy & I decided it was time to celebrate! So we headed to the bar for a drink. I ordered a Vodka Tonic but I didn’t like it so I gave it to another Cheer Mom, so my cheat didn’t even work out for me! LOL. Well I kind of figured the girls would want something on the way home and since I wouldn’t be able to warm-up my dinner I should save my cheat for that. Frenzy came back fighting on Day 2 and hit a near perfect routine, it was amazing to see. They climbed their way from 5th to 3rd and we will accept that with dignity. This is just not the event you want your hot streak to end. Wrath hit a perfect routine again and ended up 1st in their division. I hope B starts to fall into rhythm with Frezny and can move forward in her journey. She said many times over the weekend she wished she never got hurt, but she did, and we cannot change that. This is the journey she in on this season and soon it will feel right and make sense to her. I am sad for her and doing the best I can to guide her.

We hit the road to head home about 7:45 pm and stopped at Jack in the Box for a quick on the road dinner, YAY CHEAT TIME! I pretty much sang a love song to my ranch dressing and curly fries! I didn’t have any soda but I did enjoy my Spicy Chicken and Curly Fries regret free! I stayed on track all weekend, drank only water, ate on time and the right foods and hadn’t cheated at all since I started my meal plan – oh curly fries I love your long spiral salty seasoned deliciousness!!!!!! So my 1st cheat meal, in the books and back on track this morning. I had already prepped my Monday meals on Friday night, as I knew we would be home late and I would be lazy so it was good to Grab and Go this morning. I did make fresh eggs this morning and stopped at Sprouts for more Apples to get me through the week.

I just also wanted to say that to the people who stopped me this weekend and hug me and support me and tell me they are reading this, THANK YOU! I was surprised at 2 of the people who hugged me and were following along and it was pretty awesome. I love the and appreciate the encouragement and kudo’s and support. Thursday was rough and I was really scared I would fail this weekend, but I didn’t. I made Palm Springs my b*tch! I adapted and did the best I could!

Oh…..and I stepped on the scale Saturday before we left – Total Lost 9.3 pounds!