WOW - I can't believe it's been like 4 weeks since I have written, so much has happened. We suffered a tragic loss at Cheerforce and I've been to Vegas and back and Dallas and back in 11 days and my kid turned 15. February where did you go????
As you have read I was getting pretty obsessed with the scale, against everyone's advice to throw the thing away or just get over it. I was not in a good place 3 weeks ago. I was totally upset at what I was seeing on the scale. I mean I knew I was doing all the right things - I was pretty much at 95-98% of workout and meal plans. I wasn't cheating....alot Ha Ha.....but why was the damn scale messing with my head? Didn't it know that us women are programmed to invest all of our self-worth into what the stupid number says? I am being sarcastic.....to an extent. We didn't take measurements when this journey started and even though I was pretty sure things were fitting different I didn't see it.
Before I left for Vegas I stepped on the scale onÂ again on Â a Tuesday expecting to be pissed and upset still, I knew I was going to see George that night and wanted to be able to talk to him about this horrible feeling....BUT I was extremely happy with what I saw!! The scale reflected was what I felt I had done, where I wanted to be and was re-assuring that yes #theworkisworth it. When I saw George that night he said "OK Good, now break that scale of have B hide it and not weigh yourself again for 3 weeks." WHAT 3 WEEKS! How was I going to do that!!! UGH -I mean I was obsessed....daily....maybe even twice a day. It was bad......
I texted B when leaving the gym about hiding the scale and when I got home it was gone. And once it was "out of sight" it truly was "out of mind" - or maybe I knew I needed to pack and prep for Vegas then do it all over again for Dallas that there just simply wasn't time and space in my head and life for that stupid scale. Or maybe I was happy and satisifed with what I saw that I didn't need it every day. Whatever the reason it was gone and I wasn't concerned.
We stayed with my Mom in Vegas - she moved out there a few months ago and this was our 1st time at her house. She had stocked the house with food for me and made sure I was able to go to her gym. We were able to catch up Friday night. My mom has wanted this for me longer than I have and I knew she would be nothing but supportive but she's heard and seen it all a hundred times before. But she did her part and prepped food for me and we packed our food each day for Cheer Competiton and I think I did better in Vegas then the day I got home! LOL -
3 days later we turned around and headed to Dallas, my mom was coming with us as well. When we got to Dallas I said to my mom that we need to find a BBQ Place so I could just order a bunch of chicken to have in the room and for the weekend - she says "I have a surprise for you" - she had grilled a bunch of chicken and brought it on the plane in a cooler - #bestmomever - We got to the hotel about 11:15 pm and I got a workout in before the excercise room closed at midnight. We got up Friday and did our Cardio again together but Sat & Sunday I didn't....and I didn't feel bad about it. We probably walked 2-3 miles each day in Dallas and I was still eating right so yeah I took those days off. Ohhhhhh.....let me back up.....the plane! Last year when I flew to Orlando in May for The Summit - I went to latch my seatbelt and it didn't hook. I was in tears and totally embarassed and ashamed to have to ask for an extender. Poor B had no idea what to do as I sat there with tears pouring down my face. I was humiliated.....I even bought myself an extender for the future. It was a horrible moment but still didn't give me the drive I have today. Soooooooo as we packed for Dallas I stuck my little extender in backpack thinking that I would still need it.....I DIDN'T! It was such a good feeling and B looked at my with such pride and happiness for me! It was just a special little moment and another milestone for me!
We got home Monday and after a 3 hour flight delay B and I both slept the entire night through so I didn't work out....and actually hadn't gotten back in to the gym until Friday 3/7 - family - B's Bday and needing a night at home to meal prep - unpack - do laundry - well life just happened. B and I both needed some downtime to just recover from the 2 week whirlwind we had just encounterd. I wasn't spot on with my meals, as I hadn't prepped much knowing we were going to be gone but I was good with my breakfasts and lunches and shakes and pills - dinners....not so much. LOL, but still I wasn't BAD, I was making better choices then I would have in the past but I wasn't 100% on meal plan for a few days. I did indulge a little on B's BDay and had a slice of pizza - a few tater tots and couple bites of her BDay Pizookie's!
Finally back in the gym on Friday and I felt amazing - I had prepped all my meals and things were back on track. I saw George on Saturday for the 1st time in 9 days.....WHAT.....9 days without George....oh man I was scared. Not scared about George but scared about how I would be able to hold up. It was bad - LOL. Felt like the 1st time I worked out with him...and I'm still feeling it today. I like my 30 minutes with George. I'm not sure if I am progressing the way he wants or what but I love the workouts he designs for me (exception: theÂ horrible push-mill #hateit) - Even though I am sweaty out of breath hot mess when done I feel incredible that I did it. Maybe slower and less intense than others but I was doing it. I've neverÂ told George NO, or I can't. He reads me, he knows when I've given all I can. He knows when I've pushed as far as I can, but I will still go until he tells me I've done enough. I've said it before and I will say it again, he is absolutely the right person to be on this journey with me.
So anyway - I still hadn't thought about the scale, I knew I hadn't been on my normal schedule and I had missed workouts and meals but I was happy with what I had done considering and I knew this wasn't like the times in the past where I would have a few bad days and just throw in the towel and give up. NOPE - this was temporary, constrained by time and travel and I was making the best of it while I could and as soon as I was prepped I was getting back on track 100%......however what did those 3 weeks do to me? I was hoping to have at least maintained and not gained, I was sure I hadn't lost. So for the 1st time in weeks I let curiosity get to me and decided I was going to raid B's room and find the scale and see where I was at. I wasn't nervous, I knew I would have to aceppt whatever it said and I was ok with that. I was super stoked when I had LOST and hit that 20 pound mark! YAY!!!!!
So here we go - the journey continues - back to my 2 days a week with George and feeling great! Clothes are starting to not just be to loose but TOO Big!
Sunday my Bestie has FINALLY agreed to get out of her jammies and off her couch and get outside with me and we are going to attempt to hike Cowles Mountain #hikesomething - I hope we make it to the top but if we don't, oh well. I will keep trying until I do.